Culture Shock.

I'm here today to talk about a little thing called "culture shock"...or as I like to call it, "it feels like everything in my life sucks and is never going to get better." For about three weeks, I didn't really experience this feeling. I was still in the honeymoon stage in my relationship with Taiwan, and still am in many ways. But about a week ago, things changed. I was struggling to get used to my new job, I was feeling more homesick than I've ever felt before in my life, I was exhausted, and to be quite honest I kind of had an overall anger toward everything around me. I felt like everything was awful and was never, ever, ever going to get better.

Praise the Lord that only lasted about a day. Things started to get better after that. I'm not really sure why it took me so long to feel any sort of annoyance toward things around me, but when it came it hit me HARD. I was having thoughts like "What have I gotten myself into? Was this whole moving-far-far-away thing a terrible, terrible mistake? At least I only signed a year contract and I can leave after that if I hate it." I mean, I was already thinking about the day I could leave here. Now that it's been about a week since that low point I have a clearer head and I am not, thankfully, desperate to leave anymore.

Quite the contrary, actually. I'm starting to really enjoy certain things and make efforts to establish myself here. My teaching job has been getting better--I'm nowhere near perfect as a teacher, and I definitely still have a lot to learn and a lot of teaching skills to build, but I'm making progress. It feels good to learn and grow. I'm starting to become more open to meeting people and being friendly and attempting to use my limited Chinese skills when I can...and you know what? It's making a difference. Just last night, I stopped to buy guava from a guy who sells it from a stand down the street from my apartment. He asked me (in English) where I'm from, and I said (in Chinese) that I'm from America. He practically hyperventilated he was so excited that I could speak Chinese...so I told him I only speak a tiny bit of Chinese (in Chinese). He proceeded to say a bunch of stuff in Chinese...to my surprise I understood about half of it. But take note: if you use Chinese to tell a Chinese speaker that you speak a tiny tiny bit of Chinese, they will still assume you can understand everything they're saying.

And that's just one example. I've also become a regular at the 7-11 near the school I work at, and the same guy is always working at the time I go in. He doesn't seem to speak much English, but he uses the English he can, and I use the Chinese I can. I sit in the store for about half an hour eating a snack every day, and then when I leave he's super friendly and says "Bye bye!!" It's not like I know him very well, but it's nice to know I can go there before work every day and see the same friendly face. Establishing routines helps me not to feel so much like a lonely wanderer on the earth. And speaking of 7-11 guys...I've always thought the guys who work at the 7-11 by my apartment aren't very friendly...but today I managed to get a smile out of one of them, so that was a pretty big accomplishment in my mind. Maybe they're just not good at English and get nervous when white people walk in.

Anyways, I guess the whole point of this post is that I've definitely started to experience some culture shock. Only for about a day, but it was enough to remind me to slow down and not put so much pressure on myself to adjust before I'm really ready. You can't rush into adjusting to life in a new culture. You just can't. You have to take it one day at a time, deal with obstacles as they come, and remember that no matter how crappy you feel today, it WILL get better. Even though it doesn't feel like it. It really really will. And then one day you'll wake up and realize that some things you used to struggle with are just a little bit less of a struggle.

And another thing...when I lived in the U.S., I would say things about the fact that I really need God on a daily basis. How all of the good things come from above. How it's so important to depend on God. But let me tell you...moving to Taiwan has been a huge lesson in dependence. It's as if I wake up every day and have to go out into the world naked. That's how vulnerable I feel here sometimes. There are so many things I still can't really do without asking someone for help...and there are some things I have to deal with and adjust to here that no other human being can help me with. Especially when I first got here, I really and truly was forced to depend on God for everything, because I was clueless. Jobless. I had a week to find somewhere to stay, or I would be homeless. And you know what? That was a very practical lesson in depending on God even when I'm not forced to. Because God provided in awesome ways. I learned to have more trust in God even in the things where I could trust myself instead. I'm not saying I have perfect trust at all times, but I am saying that I got to experience God's provision and faithfulness in ways I hadn't before. So the struggles I go through, the culture shock I experience...it's worth it. It's worth it not because of the adventure of it all, but because God called me here and because I (with a decent amount of terror in my heart) followed the call, I get to experience God in new and different ways. Ways I'm not sure I would've if I had stayed in my comfort zone. Yes, I have experienced some really awful moments (emotionally) since getting here...but I don't regret coming here. Not for one second.

Observations.

I have only been in Taipei for about a week, but I'd like to share a few observations I've made since arriving.

1) Sometimes "it doesn't have any meat in it" actually means "it might have some chicken in it"

2)There are creepy middle-aged construction workers in every country.

3)We Americans are louder than we realize.

4)It sucks when you get home and realize that the 7-11 guy gave you a skinny straw for your jelly drink.

5)It's hard to find rubbing alcohol at the store when you can't read Chinese and don't know how to explain it in Chinese to the people working there.

6)Maybe this one is just me, but I feel uncomfortable when I see other white people here that I don't know.

7)Taiwanese people are super friendly. I realize that's a huge generalization, but all the people I've met so far are friendly. Except the security guard in this apartment building...he's helpful, but a little scary sometimes.

8) Night markets are all fun and games until you walk past the boiled organs stand.

9)This is more of a question, but...how can Taiwanese people not be much fatter than they are with all these delicious bakeries everywhere?

10) Tofu is way better here than when I try to cook it myself. I think I'll leave that to the pros.


Basically...I'm having a pretty great time here so far, thanks to all the friends who have been helping along the way. I can't emphasize enough how grateful I am for them, because without those kind people who have given up their time and energy to help us, this experience would be a much harder one. Hopefully someday when I'm settled and more experienced in Taipei life, I can pay it forward.