109 Days...

109 days is the amount of time left before the flight I just booked to Taipei, Taiwan. I've been thinking and dreaming about this for so long, and now that I decided to take the plunge and buy the plane ticket and just DO IT, it feels pretty surreal. There's definitely a huge difference between thinking about doing something and actually doing it.

Now, some people think I'm a little crazy because I just spent a lot of money on a plane ticket to go live in another country, but I don't really have anything in order for when I get there yet. I still have to find a job. I still have to apply for a visa (maybe?). Basically, I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. I can see why it looks crazy. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and think, "Are you crazy, Ashley?" I think anyone who knows me can answer that question ;-)

But seriously, for a while I've just felt this huge desire to go to Taiwan, and things in my life (you know, besides having a job lined up before buying a plane ticket...) have been pointing me in that direction, and so I decided that I'm just going to take the next step and trust God to help me figure the rest out. I can't know for sure that this is going to work out, and it would be a lie to say that I wouldn't be pretty disappointed if it didn't. However, if I don't at least give it a try, I know that I'll always regret it and wonder "what if...?" Don't get me wrong, I have my moments of anxiety over how many unknowns are still left...who wouldn't? I have a mixture of excitement and anxiety, and I just keep praying that God would calm my fears and guide me as I plan.

I guess that's really all I have to say. There are a million other things running through my mind these past few days since Dayna and I stayed up on Skype until 3am figuring out (and booking) our flight, but if I shared all of those on the internet then everyone really would think I'm a psycho. This post is basically just to share the exciting and frightening news that I booked a plane ticket to Taiwan, and I have anxieties about moving to a foreign country (as anyone would), but I am so, so grateful for the ways in which God has provided for this adventure...both financially and through the support of many friends, both American friends that I will miss when I leave and Taiwanese friends that I can't wait to reunite with when I arrive <3

It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
{Deuteronomy 31:8}

Adventure Season!

I seriously love autumn. It's definitely my favorite season. The trees are a beautiful mix of reds and yellows and oranges and browns. The air is more crisp, less humid. The sky is a little cloudier (which may not seem like a good thing to everyone, but I love it). And I love the fall flavors...pumpkin, apple, YUM. Warm drinks taste better (I mean, don't get me wrong--I still drink loads of coffee in the summer. It's just much cozier when it's chilly outside).

But what I love most about autumn is that it just feels like change. I don't know why the coming of autumn feels more like change to me than the changing of other seasons, but it does. It just makes me feel like change is okay. Good, even.

This autumn is definitely a change for me. I'm not going back to school. I'm just continuing to work. I'm away from all of the friends that I grew so close to throughout college. I thought I would be much more sad about this than I am. It just feels like...life goes on, and I have to be content with where I am. I can't keep looking back and wishing for what I used to have. There are some exciting changes on my horizon, too. Like moving to Taipei. I'm still applying for jobs and working until the right one comes along, and it's very exciting daydreaming about seeing my friends there, about experiencing the culture, about returning to places I love.

Change is scary, even the changes I am making voluntarily. Being at home has made me realize that I have to move with the changes of life. I'm living at home with my parents and brother, just like I always used to before I went to college. Even though I love my family, it's not the same as it was when I was younger. There's a song I really like called "Painting Pictures of Egypt" by Sara Groves, and some of the lyrics say:

The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned

This describes how I feel right now. Like where I was in the past isn't right for me anymore, but the future is so unknown and scary. But I guess the scary things are often the things that are most worth doing, because they require a new level of trust in the Lord and where He's leading me. So here's to changing with the seasons; to pursuing new things, even if they're scary. This is adventure season!