Things look different when you know you have a limited time left with them. Knowing I only have just over three months left of the way my life is now gives me a whole new perspective. My happy anticipation of the future is tinged with a certain sadness at my present receding into my past.
Recently there was about a month where the plans I was making for the future were motivated by my desire to run away from a present that I wasn't satisfied in. But God has transformed my heart so that now I feel satisfied even in situations that aren't ideal. I've learned that no matter how many places I run to seek satisfaction in life, I'll never find it in this world apart from God. My future is no longer motivated by discontent, and that is truly a blessing. A blessing that makes moving on to a new stage of life just a little bit more bittersweet, because I've grown to love the people around me so much more than I ever expected to. After all, I thought that what I'm doing now was just a short pit stop on the way to something else. Now I've found that it's become something that I think I will always remember as one of the sweetest blessings in my life.
I guess this bittersweetness is a good thing, because what it really means is that I have had a good life and I'm moving from one good thing to another good thing. It means that I'm not running all over the world seeking contentment, but I am now able to recognize that God's love is present in my life in every circumstance and He's put wonderful things in my life that are worth missing when I leave.
It is an inexplicably great thing to be able to step back and trace the lines of God's love in the past few months of my life.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
109 Days...
109 days is the amount of time left before the flight I just booked to Taipei, Taiwan. I've been thinking and dreaming about this for so long, and now that I decided to take the plunge and buy the plane ticket and just DO IT, it feels pretty surreal. There's definitely a huge difference between thinking about doing something and actually doing it.
Now, some people think I'm a little crazy because I just spent a lot of money on a plane ticket to go live in another country, but I don't really have anything in order for when I get there yet. I still have to find a job. I still have to apply for a visa (maybe?). Basically, I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. I can see why it looks crazy. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and think, "Are you crazy, Ashley?" I think anyone who knows me can answer that question ;-)
But seriously, for a while I've just felt this huge desire to go to Taiwan, and things in my life (you know, besides having a job lined up before buying a plane ticket...) have been pointing me in that direction, and so I decided that I'm just going to take the next step and trust God to help me figure the rest out. I can't know for sure that this is going to work out, and it would be a lie to say that I wouldn't be pretty disappointed if it didn't. However, if I don't at least give it a try, I know that I'll always regret it and wonder "what if...?" Don't get me wrong, I have my moments of anxiety over how many unknowns are still left...who wouldn't? I have a mixture of excitement and anxiety, and I just keep praying that God would calm my fears and guide me as I plan.
I guess that's really all I have to say. There are a million other things running through my mind these past few days since Dayna and I stayed up on Skype until 3am figuring out (and booking) our flight, but if I shared all of those on the internet then everyone really would think I'm a psycho. This post is basically just to share the exciting and frightening news that I booked a plane ticket to Taiwan, and I have anxieties about moving to a foreign country (as anyone would), but I am so, so grateful for the ways in which God has provided for this adventure...both financially and through the support of many friends, both American friends that I will miss when I leave and Taiwanese friends that I can't wait to reunite with when I arrive <3
It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
{Deuteronomy 31:8}
Now, some people think I'm a little crazy because I just spent a lot of money on a plane ticket to go live in another country, but I don't really have anything in order for when I get there yet. I still have to find a job. I still have to apply for a visa (maybe?). Basically, I have no idea what I'm getting myself into. I can see why it looks crazy. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and think, "Are you crazy, Ashley?" I think anyone who knows me can answer that question ;-)
But seriously, for a while I've just felt this huge desire to go to Taiwan, and things in my life (you know, besides having a job lined up before buying a plane ticket...) have been pointing me in that direction, and so I decided that I'm just going to take the next step and trust God to help me figure the rest out. I can't know for sure that this is going to work out, and it would be a lie to say that I wouldn't be pretty disappointed if it didn't. However, if I don't at least give it a try, I know that I'll always regret it and wonder "what if...?" Don't get me wrong, I have my moments of anxiety over how many unknowns are still left...who wouldn't? I have a mixture of excitement and anxiety, and I just keep praying that God would calm my fears and guide me as I plan.
I guess that's really all I have to say. There are a million other things running through my mind these past few days since Dayna and I stayed up on Skype until 3am figuring out (and booking) our flight, but if I shared all of those on the internet then everyone really would think I'm a psycho. This post is basically just to share the exciting and frightening news that I booked a plane ticket to Taiwan, and I have anxieties about moving to a foreign country (as anyone would), but I am so, so grateful for the ways in which God has provided for this adventure...both financially and through the support of many friends, both American friends that I will miss when I leave and Taiwanese friends that I can't wait to reunite with when I arrive <3
It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
{Deuteronomy 31:8}
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